Transitioning Relationships

I've been going back and forth with myself on how I should write about this topic. Over the last several weeks I've been  trying to think of a word or name for someone who's now my friend that I've been in a relationship with previously but now we're more than friends.  Whew that sounds like a mouthful right? But I have relationships like this, relationships that have transitioned into something other than friendship but not a partnership. They may or may not include romance or sex.  While I was considering how to frame that very question and what specific name I should give to this type of relationship one of my partners decided that we should be just be friends due to life circumstances.

This transition has been rough for me. I have so many feelings surrounding this relationship and this relationship transitioning because of my strong feelings for this person and how I envisioned us in the future.  I've cried and been sad and honestly mourned over this transition. I had so many questions why the relationship needed to transition  but I had to come to the conclusion that relationships end and sometimes they transition but nothing lasts forever. I became curious about how others navigated these types of relationships so I posed this question to members of one of my online poly groups. I'm happy that I did because I  came out it with even more insight.  I also had more questions surrounding the topic of transitioning relationships and what it meant to me on a personal level.

I had to unpack why I felt the need to put any type of title on these people in my life? Some of the most important questions were:

• Why  I need specific titles for people who I'm involved with in whatever capacity whether romantic or sexual?
• Do I have that need  for specific titles because of monogamous thinking?
• Did I actually take this need from when I was monogamous, Is it something subconscious?  
• How do those titles play any significance in my life as a polyamorous person? 

I'm a solo polyamorist but I also have some Relationship Anarchy leanings.  I found this quote about relationship anarchy and it spoke to me.

"Relationship anarchy is not about never committing to anything - it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you."  ~Andie Nordgren

One part really hit home for me. I don't necessarily need any titles for the special people in my life because it's all about designing my own commitments with those specific people.