Hey ya'll! It's been awhile but I'm back. How's everyone been doing and functioning during COVID a.k.a. "The Rona"? I've been attempting to just function in my everyday life with work and family. I've developed a new relationship with a wonderful woman and a few of my relationships have fell by the wayside and transitioned. If I would have wrote that this time last year I don't think I'd be so calm or brave. I've had some growing up to do and soul searching as well as realizing nothing really lasts forever and time truly heals all wounds.
Okay so let's get into this topic. A friend of mine posted a meme on social media a few weeks ago that made me want to write about this topic. It's not like I haven't seen this " My boyfriend/spouse wants to "try" polyamory what should we do? I used to be very sympathetic in the beginning until I realized the potential damage to the community and other people. Most people who want to try polyamory don't do any research and they don't read books or articles on polyamory/non-monogamy, so they go into it totally blind.
Going blind into different situations can be okay but I feel like just jumping into polyamory can hurt people emotionally in the long run. You definitely have to unlearn monogamy. Monogamy is so ingrained into us that we can make mistakes and won't realize that we've made a mistake until it's done damage to the person you didn't want to hurt.
In my opinion I've become a better person and partner by reading books and articles on polyamory. I've also been listening to Polyamory Weekly, which is a podcast that discusses topics around polyamory. Now don't get me wrong, I've learned from experiences as well,but it's been with that knowledge that I learned how to recognize and fix the problems in a healthy manner. My favorite saying is "Trying polyamory without reading and studying is like jumping into the deep end of the pool and you don't know how to swim."
It's as simple as that. Some people try to learn just by group interactions, that could ultimately be a failure because groups may not discuss all the topics you want to learn so you're stuck with a limited amount of knowledge. Why would you limit yourself? Being self aware is sexy!
