Love in the time of the Corona Virus

Hey y'all I just wanted to do a quick post on handling your poly loves during this time. The title is a play on a book and movie title that got me inspired to write about being in poly relationships during social distancing. It's been hard on me because I'm not able to travel and all  of my partners are long distance. 

A few visits have been pushed back even farther as a precaution. It's definitely a good idea to keep everyone safe but I've been needing my partners more than I've wanted to admit. I guess I'm touched deprived. I'm normally not touching anyone but I have a social life so those social interactions help me get my dosage of "people". I'm an ambivert and I need my personal alone time to recharge my social battery but lately I've been recharging and just trying to deal with not being around people.

A week ago  came across an online community for people in long distance relationships called lovingfromadistance.com while I was looking for new cool gift ideas of activities to do with my boos. The first thing I noticed within the community was that it was monogamy centered.  I felt slightly let down so I searched the forums and only saw one post about Polyamory/Ethical Non-Monogamy.   On a positive note they have so many article on activities, gift ideas and questions you can ask to get to know  your LDR babe.

In my opinion I'd say just weed through all of the stuff that may not pertain to you or the things that don't interest you.  I'm definitely gonna take advantage of some of the games and gift ideas to let my special people know how much I miss them.

 

The Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory (Book Review)

I initially was skeptical to start this book even though I heard the author discuss it on one of my favorite podcasts, Polyamory Weekly.   Then years later I  found  for free at my local  library both as an eBook and audio book, I started reading  it as an  E-book but found that it was easier to listen to it during the day at work. Normally I  like the voice of the person reading  the book, but I'm not sure  how I felt about the person who read this book.
She read it like she was reading a steamy sex novel and not a nonfiction book about non monogamy and alternative lifestyles.  I was slightly irked.

My main pet peeves about this book are that I feel like the title is a misnomer. The title makes it seems that this book is geared towards women looking to get into polyamory when in fact that's not it. I was highly disappointed when I found that out as I read further.  The book is for newbies and those looking to open their relationship up however.   Also a passage in the book seemed more "tone policing" in my opinion. The author said she started a "Just Be Nice" campaign in regards to disagreements or conflicts with partners.
The "Just Be Nice" campaign basically is being  nice no matter how you're feeling in your relationship for 90 days. 

I was shaking my head and thinking the whole time while reading this. Just ignore your feelings and put on a fake smile and be nice?  That's not a healthy way of communicating and it's pretty passive aggressive.  I think I'd be upset if one of my partners put on a fact smile no matter how they were feeling then months later tells me how mad I'd made them or how hurt they were by my comments.

What Did I like about the book?
I liked that the book had exercises at the end of the chapter pertaining to the topic that you can work through on your own. Most books have separate workbooks that you have to purchase to be able to even work through all the topics that you might want to revisit and spend time processing.  I also liked that the author included the LGBTQ community and POC in the conversation. I'm definitely for inclusion.


All in all I was pretty disappointed in the book. I wouldn't recommend it a person trying to get into polyamory at all.