Introductions

I really don't like to do introductions but I think it's necessary for you to know who I am and the "why" behind this blog.  My name is Jai (like the boy's name) I wear many different  hats in my life. I'm a mom of two grown sons and one cat, Merle.  I have a variety of hobbies and interests but enough about me. I want to explain why I chose to start this blog. One word: REPRESENTATION.  As most people know I identify as bisexual and I've been out since 2001.  I also am in another alternative lifestyle group.  Five years ago I started to learn about BDSM and primarily D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationships and how that lifestyle fit into my overall life. That's definitely a different discussion for another day though.


You may ask why is representation so important?  Representation and showing diversity in alternative lifestyles is so necessary and needed.  Before I learned about polyamory and BDSM I only thought that white people did those things. That was a naïve thing to think but I know I'm not the only person to think or feel this.  Once I learned more about these two lifestyles I realized there was a large POC population who embraced them.   My journey into polyamory wasn't a straight line, like any journey their were twists and turns along the way.  I decided to open up my relationship in 2008 with my partner at the time.  Open relationships, in my opinion, are very different from poly amorous ones.  Open relationships lack communication and transparency and are most often based on sex.  To be honest, I've had more sex as a monogamous person than I've ever had as a poly person.   I now realize that the way I went about opening up my existing relationship was all WRONG!!!  I did not communicate with my partner and I set up boundaries thinking that it was for the good of our relationship when in reality it was to keep me from being uncomfortable in my own insecurities.  I have since apologized to my ex about my behavior and explained to him that I went about it the wrong way.

Polyamory is all about communication and transparency as well as being emotionally in tuned with yourself.  What I've learned is that if you haven't chosen this lovestyle for yourself and decided you wanted to do it for other reasons things won't go well.    There will constantly be strife and drama in your life.

I'm a person who is big on learning and growing.   I'm the type of person who reads tons of books, magazine articles, listens to  podcasts or watches any type of movie on a subject that I'm curious about.   As with polyamory I'm an advocate for this.  I've unlocked so much about myself by reading books on the subject.  I've started to compile a list of articles, podcasts and other forms of media that directly represent black and brown polyamorous people.   The world needs to see this representation. Let's break free of the stereotypical chains that society has placed on us and just LIVE.