Black Poly Pride

It's June and that means it's Pride season for some of us.  Being a part of the LGBTQ community as well as being poly can sometimes mean community but sometimes it just feels like we're a very small group of people in this huge world.   I normally don't do groups on social media for varying reasons. Most of them include the fact that very few people participate, there's always drama or the topics are focused on people just coming into polyamory. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm better than anyone or anything like that but I do feel like I've spent enough time on topics such as jealousy and unicorn hunting/triads etc.    I really want to be in a group of poly black folks who can discuss topics within polyamory that are deeper than the normal stuff.   

And yup I said, poly black folks! Why would I want to create a space for poly black people you may ask? First because of racism. If you've read a few of my posts, I've( and a few other people) have experienced racism in the poly community.  On top of the racism, there are subtle microaggressions that we deal with on a day to day basis.   I've been intentionally wanting to create a safe space for polyamorous black people.    I realized we need a safe space full of our peers to let our hair down and to not have to constantly code switch or fear being fetishized.   Sadly, that hasn't been possible.  It feels and seems impossible to create this space for us.

Why is it so I wonder? Even when we have these spaces we don't participate or we fall back and just lurk.   I feel that any time I'm on social media or in my life period, I'm doing things for a reason. I'm very calculated and intentional with the things I do.  Before a particular group, I was in disbanded, I made a poll and specifically asked people why weren't they participating in the group.  Within a few minutes, I saw that several people saw the poll but didn't even bother to answer it. I was thinking to myself WTF!!! You mean to tell me that you saw the poll and couldn't take a few seconds to respond to make the group better????

That whole situation fueled my anger and it also made me think.   It made me think about the black community as a whole really.    some of us complain that we don't have anything for US blah blah.   But when someone intentionally makes a space for us there is little to no participation. Is this a vicious cycle?   Long story short on the social media group, It was deleted due to the low participation amongst other things.  That situation made me kinda sad.   Then I was on Facebook today and saw a posting from a page I follow, Loving Solo.    The post was talking about a black poly pride event.   I immediately went to the website and saw that it was a whole weekend of workshops dedicated and featuring black polyamorous folks.  It immediately made me happy and I wanted to know if I could possibly make it out to Dallas. Then I found out that the date was next weekend and I myself would be out of town celebrating Pride events in a different city.

I had to know if there would another event like this next year so that I could attend. Now I feel happy and I haven't lost all my faith. I see that I'm not the only person trying to make spaces and community for black polyamorous people. So I will continue to try and make these spaces available to those few who want to be a part of a community, of family and to tell our stories.

Hey for anyone who's interested in Black Poly Pride event, please visit their website here