Book Review: Stepping Off The Relationship Escalator:Uncommon Love and Life

 

Hello everyone! I'm back with a review of Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life by Amy Gahran.   Stepping off the Relationship Escalator came about when the author posted an online survey about unconventional relationships and 1,500 people participated.  First off  1,500 participants!!!! That's a really large amount of people when it comes to any particular study on unconventional relationships or nonmonogamy in general.   I'd also like to point out that this author is a polyamorous person.  Whenever I read books on any type of relationship style, I really want the author to have some real-life experience with the subject matter because it adds authenticity. I've read books on polyamory by people who did "research" and it didn't seem credible. 

I'm not exactly sure why I purchased the book but I knew I wanted to read another book about polyamory and post a review. I probably looked at my "to be read" list on Goodreads and thought it would be a great idea. I ended up purchasing the book and once I received it I was surprised at how many pages it is. For some folks page numbers matter.  The book information says it's 308 pages but technically the actual book ends at 282. The remaining portion of the book is a section where she cited things that were mentioned in the book and also a section that has a glossary of terms.

My initial thoughts:  Even before I purchased the book I thought the book was about how to step off the relationship escalator in polyam relationships.  Once I got the book and started reading it I understood that the book is actually for those who are monogamous and are thinking about "stepping off the relationship escalator".  I was slightly disappointed and almost put the book down because I said to myself this doesn't apply to me at all. The more I read it became clear that I would learn and get something out of this book and I did.

 The author defines the relationship escalator as : "The default bundle of societal expectations for intimate relationships. Partners follow a progressive set of steps, each with visible milestones and markers, toward a clear goal".   

Everything I loved about this book:

1. The author Amy Gahran is a polyam woman 
2. The author uses some participants specific comments in every chapter of  the book
3. The book has so many topics that most books don't even touch on such as long-distance love, asexual and aromantic relationships, hierarchy, and breakups.
4. Discussion questions at the end of the chapter 

Overall I'm seriously impressed by the work that was done in this book. I recommend the book to anyone that is considering nonmonoamy, this is sure to be a great resource.